


Consequences to Every Inaction

by C_amara_deriee



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anorexia, Desperate, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Peter, In a way, It's just really hard, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter doesn't curse, Peter's trying to get better okay?, Peter-centric, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Worth Issues, So much guilt, Team as Family, anorexic Peter, it's adorable, team fic, uninentional anorexia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 20:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13865526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_amara_deriee/pseuds/C_amara_deriee
Summary: Essentially, none of the Avengers honestly believe Peter when he tells them that no, he really isn’t anorexic and to trust him-he’s just very busy and doesn’t have the spare time or money to eat enough, it’s most certainly not on purpose and they mostdefinitelydo not need to kick him off the team because of it.“It’s okay,” Peter assures them quietly, “I get it. I wouldn’t want me as a teammate either. It’s okay, I know what you need to do, I get it.”Natasha’s eyes flash warningly and she asks him, “And what do you think we need to do, Peter?” like it’s a threat. Like if he says the wrong thing she’ll pounce on him. But he knows the answer to this question andgod, they’re going to make him spell it out for them, aren’t they?“You need to kick me off the team."





	Consequences to Every Inaction

**Author's Note:**

> _The Avengers consist of Sam, Bruce, Steve, Natasha, Clint, Tony, and Thor._

Peter would like one thing to be known for certain- it isn’t anorexia.

There was a difference between _choosing_ not to eat and just not being _able_ to eat.

He’s always grown up without much money, and it’s never bothered him. Uncle Ben used to be the breadwinner of the Parker family. With Uncle Ben, they’d had enough money for school and to go out on special occasions and such, but they’d never had enough money to splurge on any non-essentials.

Now, with Uncle Ben gone, he and Aunt May made do with even less. Aunt May’s part time jobs were just barely enough to sustain the both of them. She’d come up with the clever idea of pre-planned lunches when Peter and she were beginning to run short on money after Ben.

Every week, she sat down with Peter early in the morning and they drew up a meal plan for that week. Aunt May and him had just enough food at the beginning of each week for two regular people to have three regular meals a day, no more. The strict schedule kept them from buying food they didn’t need and kept the cost at something manageable.

But they’d been slaking in it lately, and sometimes Peter only got one or two meals a day. And even when he got all three, three average-person meals aren’t really enough for a growing teenage boy, let alone a _superpowered_ teenage boy. He’s calculated it. With his metabolism, and factoring in extra Spiderman activity, he needs about 4x the normal amount of food for a boy his age. But he is used to relying on less because he had to.

So one can imagine Peter’s hesitance when he is invited back to the Avengers tower for post-mission recuperating and Tony plops him down in what Peter assumes is their common room, and calls up to the ceiling for JARVIS to order 20 pizzas, six calzones, and a “shit ton” of chicken wings from the place down the street.

Peter visibly balks. That is _waay_ too much food. And yeah, he knows that although he and Tony are the only ones in the room right now, the rest of the team is just cleaning up and taking off their gear and would join them later, but _still._

When he and Aunt May order pizza, they never buy an entire pie. They both get one slice, with maybe a couple breadsticks if they are really splurging.

“Mr. Stark, that’s…that’s a little too much food, don’t you think?”

Tony spins around from where he’s wandered over to work on a hologram in the center of the room. “It’s Tony, kid. Or Mr. Kickass Awesome. Although-” he turns back around to continue fiddling with his holographic design of… an arrow, maybe? “-technically, it would be _Dr._ Stark. I have PhD’s you know. PhD-’ _s_ , as in, _plural_. I’m a genius, Peter. So I know what I’m talking about when I tell you no, that is not too much pizza.” Tony twists his head back to Peter and raises his eyebrows.

“Have you even _seen_ Thor eat? Last time we got pizza, he ate 15 supreme pizzas on his own! In fact, now that I think about it-” He points a finger up at JARVIS. “Order breadsticks with that meal. Use your best judgement on how many, J.”

“Certainly, sir.”

The remaining color drains from Peter’s face under his mask. He’d made Mr. Stark order _more_ food. Oh god, Tony had ordered even _more._ Peter fights not to hyperventilate as he tries to right his mistake.

“No, Mr. St-Tony. No, that’s okay. We really don’t need that much. I’m not even…I’m not even hungry so you don’t need to get more, they can just have mine. The rest of the team can just have what you ordered for me, Tony.”

Peter watches Tony turn around and look over the common room to where Peter sits on their huge white couch. The couch is easily twice the size of a normal sofa, curved along the corner of the wall between the entryway to the kitchen and the elevator. Peter knows Tony had specifically chosen this couch because it was large enough for the entire team to squeeze on it during movie night. It must look even larger than it actually is when it has just Peter on it, curled as he is into a tiny, dirtied ball in the very center.

His suit is filthy, the elbows and knees hanging together by a few strands. The spider logo bared across his chest is missing two of its legs, both having been a casualty of war when the sloth creature they’d just fought on their mission had managed to snag Peter during their fight. Peter’d been backhanded through several buildings by the creature and its claws had ripped into Peter’s chest. Blood from the cuts was still trickling idly out and being soaked up into the fabric of his suit. He has yet to take off his mask and black, vivid, rents cut deep across both eye lenses from falling in rubble. Tuffs of hair poke through the tears at the top of his mask.

Peter is sure he’s a sight to behold. He looks like the poster child for someone in need of a good, hot meal. Or maybe a “battered teen” poster.

Peter holds himself stiffly, muscles pulled taunt, sitting as far forward as he can, afraid that he would ruin the material of the sofa if he touches anything but the very edge of the cushion. He’s sure his exhaustion is overly-evident in the way his head is hung, completely in contrast with the rigid hold his arms had on his pulled up knees. Slight tremors wrack through his willowy frame every few seconds.

Tony sighs, obviously not in the mood to deal with the ridiculousness that is teenager logic.

“Look, kid,” Tony tells him, “it’s probably the adrenaline talking if you’re really not hungry. Why don’t you go wash up, huh? Clean the blood off your chest, so Bruce can stitch it up later?”

Peter raises his head so he can look at Tony directly through the ruined reflective lenses of his mask. He watches Tony for a count, before slowly nodding.

“There’s a full bathroom down the hall, to the left.” Tony elaborates. “Or, you can head up to the guest floor and get some extra clothes and really clean up. Food’s not coming for a little while, bud. The delivery boy always manages to get lost. I mean, you’d think the giant tower in the middle of the city would be easy to find, but people’s stupidity still continues to impress.” Tony shrugs. “Either way, you’ve got some time to relax upstairs.”

“No, that’s okay. That’s-just the bathroom’s fine, it’s great, thanks Mr. Star-Tony.” 

Tony watches Peter for a minute, then nods. “Okay. Through the kitchen, down the hall and to the left.”

Peter sucks in a deep breath and hauls himself off the couch. He sways for a second on both feet, before limping through the entryway to the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, when Peter emerges from the extremely luxurious bathroom (seriously, it wasn’t even a master bathroom and it had a rainfall shower. Peter was terrified to touch _anything_ ), dressed in the clothes Tony had placed outside the bathroom, the rest of the Avengers are reconvened in the living room.

They’re sprawled throughout the main room and kitchen, laughing and chatting animatedly with each other, every one of them in loungewear. Sometimes Peter really loves his teammates.

Natasha’s the first to notice him, giving him a thin mouth smile before looking him over and throwing a hand over her mouth to keep from bursting out laughing.

Peter sighs, watching Natasha’s shoulders shake from repressed chuckles. The clothes Tony had given him were much, much too large- nearly engulfing his frame and practically draping off his shoulders. Peter assumes Tony stole them from Thor but, to be fair, clothes from any of the Avengers would have the same effect.

Peter steadies his nerves and, ignoring how adorable Natasha looked curled up on the couch in soft pink sweats and a grey tank top -he was well aware she could kill him with two fingers- takes a step forward to sit on the couch beside Natasha.

Only to trip over the much-too-long hem of his borrowed sweatpants and fall flat on the ground.

Natasha loses it and starts cackling. Steve, Tony, and Thor, who had been chatting on the other side of the sofa, trail off their conversation and lean away from Natasha warily. Clint, probably having heard Natasha’s guffaws, flings out of the kitchen and perches himself effortlessly on the back of the sofa. Both Bruce and Sam peek their head around the kitchen entryway after Clint.

Natasha’s laugh trails off and she breathlessly flaps a hand in Peter’s direction, where he still lay on the floor.

“Peter?” Steve asks, a smile in his voice. “You okay there, pal?”

“Just leave me here.” Peter sprawls his sore limbs out and nuzzles his check into the hardwood. “I’m happy here, I’m just gonna sleep for a bit. Just a couple days or so, I’ll be fine.”

Peter feels more than hears one of the Avengers approaching. He still doesn’t quite manage to hide the full-body flinch when arms wrap underneath his armpits, but they only hesitate for a second before continuing to lift him.

“Come on, bud,” Sam encourages, “up you go.”

Peter groans his displeasure, but let himself be manhandled upright. His head flops forward bonelessly.

He squints his eyes. Had this borrowed shirt always had a dark red splotch in the middle? Peter rips his head up at Clint’s sharp inhale.

“Kid,” Clint says carefully, “did you get hurt during the fight?”

Peter tilts his head at the question. Yeah, of course he’d been hurt. They’d all seen the sloth monster slash him out of the sky-it’s claws digging into his chest and yanking out chunks of skin. He _knows_ Tony saw it: Tony had been the one who’d joked about “witnessing the worst high-five ever” over the comms.

And he wasn’t exactly hiding his bruised eyes, a by-product of his face sliding against the ground and jamming the suit’s eye lenses into the space around his eyes. At least he only has one black eye. The other’s a more greenish-yellow. Normally they’d already be starting to heal, but at the rate his healing factor’s been working lately, Peter figures it’ll take a few days.

“Hey,” Clint says, smacking Peter’s cheek gently. When had he gotten over here? “Hey, stay with us, kid. How bad you hurt?”

“He has at least three pretty deep cuts across his chest,” Tony pipes up from the couch. Tony’s voice is laced with guilt and Peter feels instantly like crap. Tony probably feels bad for not checking on Peter before he’d left to shower. In Tony’s defense, he’s watched Peter heal from injuries leagues worse than what he’d gotten today with no extra help. It didn’t use to take him longer than a few hours to heal up after a fight, usually. Tony probably didn’t understand why these cuts wouldn’t have already healed. Or the bruises on his face, for that matter.

Peter stares at Clint vacantly, trembling meekly in Sam’s grasp. He recognizes that he looks like he’s two seconds from keeling over unconscious now that his adrenaline has faded, but he doesn’t know what they want him to say here.

Sam shifts Peter in his arms, and Clint dips underneath to hold Peter up on the other side. Together they half-carry Peter over to the couch.

When he’s been settled, leaning against Thor to stay upright, Peter closes his eyes and hums contentedly. Thor is always so warm, like a personal electric blanket. It reminds Peter of the times he’s curled up against the clothes dryer in their house during the winter months. Only better, because Thor adjusts himself to accommodate Peter and it’s like laying on an electric blanket of muscle. It’s nice: Peter feels like he’s always too cold nowadays.

Sam turns to face the other Avengers. “What happened to him? Why is he still so bad?”

Tony shakes his head and admits, “I don’t know. He usually heals as fast as Cap over here.” Tony gestures a thumb behind him at Steve.

Peter furrows his brows. They’re talking about him. They’re talking about him like he isn’t here. He should…probably be offended by that, right? He doesn’t think he has the energy to be mad right now. Thor’s shoulder is so comfy…

Peter’s breath hitches and eyes fly open when he feels the bottom of his shirt lift. He pulls his head off Thor’s shoulder and grabs the offender’s wrist before the oversized garment can be lifted above his waistline.

Natasha’s hand slowly uncurls, and she releases her grip on the hem of the shirt. Peter fights to remember how to breath.

No one’s supposed to see him without a shirt on. No one. Not since that one time Ned had accidentally walking in on Peter walking out of the locker-room showers, and flew into an all out panic at the sight of him.

Ned had been like a chicken with it’s head cut off for weeks afterwards: asking him several times a day if he was hungry and shoving every spare bit of food at him at lunch. It took several weeks of bringing in food he’d saved the previous dinner (since there was never enough time to make his _and_ Aunt May’s lunch in the morning) to school to get Ned to let up even a little. He hadn’t been able to fully convince Ned he wasn’t starving until he’d started to better pad the Spider-Man suit.

Natasha broke his thoughts by looking down pointedly at Peter’s hand where it was still clenched tightly around her wrist. He let go as if scalded. 

“I-sorry. Sorry. I’m fine now.” He looks up to meet the stares of the others, ignoring Steve ad Sam’s wince when they get a full, unobstructed view of the bruises around his eyes. “I’m fine,” he repeats.

Tony waves a hand at the growing red stain on Peter’s chest. “You call that fine?”

Peter looks back down in surprise. He’d forgotten what started this whole thing. The cuts did seem to be bleeding pretty heavily. They must have re-opened when he’d tripped.

“It’ll, umm…it’ll heal.”

Clint scoffs at him. “Yeah, it’ll heal, sure. But if you let us stitch ‘em up they’ll heal faster.” But Peter shakes his head adamantly.

Steve runs a hand through his hair and sighs sharply. “Look, Peter, we can’t just leave you bleeding like this. Just take off your shirt and we’ll stitch you-”

“ _Sorry to interrupt, Captain, but the food has arrived_ ,” Jarvis announces. The elevator doors open on command, revealing several pizzas and bags of food inside.

Peter knows an out when he sees one. “It’s barely bleeding anymore, guys. I’ll be fine. Let’s just eat.” He smiles flatly at Steve’s grim expression.

“Please, Steve,” Peter beseeches. _Please, just let it go._

But Steve only narrows his eyes.

“We can’t let the food go bad, Steve,” Peter persists, ignoring the way his insides twist at the image his words paint. God, they could _not_ let all that food go to waste. “Please,” he repeats, a little more desperately.

Thor throws an arm around Peter. “Peter is right, Captain. We mustn’t let this bounty go to waste,” he reminds lightly. He pats Peter’s shoulder carefully and stands to fetch the food from the elevator. Natasha uncurls herself from the couch and follows after.

Never let it be said Thor can’t pick up a hint. Peter sends him a silent thank you.

“Fine,” Steve concedes, “but we _will_ be continuing this conversation after you eat.” Steve pointed a finger at Peter’s chest “-and you _will_ keep pressure on that until we can look at it.”

Peter nods quickly. He could agree to that. Clint tosses him a wad of gauze from the doorway of the bathroom. Peter figures he’d probably grabbed it from the first aid kits Tony kept stocked in every bathroom on their floors, the worrywart.

Peter carefully shoves the bundle underneath his shirt and tucks the bottom of his shirt into his sweats to keep it in place, never revealing an inch of skin.

It wasn’t a perfect solution, but if it kept the other Avengers off his back about taking off his shirt, he was happy to indulge them this.

Sam and Natasha lay the food out on the coffee table, an unspoken agreement among the teammates that no one wanted to move Peter from the couch, and start handing out plates and silverware.

It isn’t until everything has been opened, all the Avengers seated around him, and a plate of food has been pressed into his hands, that it hits Peter again _just how much food_ Tony’s ordered.

It’s overflowing the large coffee table, spilling out onto the living room floor. Several take out containers full of breadsticks lay between Clint and Bruce’s knees. A couple pizza boxes perch on Thor’s thigh. A container of chicken wings teeter on the edge of the sofa by Tony’s left arm.

Peter instantly loses his appetite. There’s a stone sitting in the pit of his stomach that forbids him from taking even a bite of the meal in front of him.

This is an insane amount of food. It’s almost _obscene._ There’s more food on the table in front of Peter now than he and Aunt May eat in a _month_.

Peter feels…guilty. He’s not even sure what he feels guilty for. And he knows he probably shouldn’t feel bad, that’s it’s just food. Heck, Tony’s rich; it’s probably nothing to him.

Oh, that makes it so much worse. Tony spent _money_ on the food in front of him and he isn’t eating it.

Peter is wasting Tony’s food, and therefore Tony’s money, if he doesn’t eat this. Why is he being so ungrateful?

He slowly raises a slice of pizza to his lips. He takes a bite, lets the slimy, greasy piece of pizza slide over his tongue to touch the back of his throat, and swallows thickly. Then he does it again.

And again.

And again.

He keeps his head down and his focus on his meal. The faster he eats, the less he has to taste.

And he eats everything they’d put on his plate. All of it. He eats the four slices of pizza, quarter of calzone, and two chicken wings they’d asked of him when they’d shoved the full platter in his lap.

And when he finishes, he stares blankly at the few stains leftover on the ceramic plate from the food. He rubs at them absently, but they don’t come off. He scrubs a little more forcefully, but they remain in place, tarnishing the flawless white glaze of dish. Why won’t they come off? Peter shifts his hand and starts scratching at them with a fingernail. They didn’t _belong_. They were _ruining_ everything. Why can’t Peter fix this?

He feels vaguely sick. He can feel the blood draining from his face…and something else rising.

“Peter?” Natasha asks gently, breaking his trance. Peter halts his frantic scrubbing and pulls his head up quickly, ignoring the way the room seemed to sway a little. He’s surprised to see all the Avengers watching him.

“You okay?” Natasha prompts.

Peter doesn’t answer. Can’t. Something in his throat stops his words. He can’t-he can’t _breathe._

“Hey, hey it’s okay. Take a breath,” Sam soothes from the other side of the couch. Peter’s head whips around to follow his voice, and the motion is too much for his poor stomach.

He throws a hand over his mouth and launches off the sofa. He stumbles into the bathroom, hitting the doorframe slightly as he passes, making it to the toilet just in time.

Clint is the first one inside the bathroom after Peter, only to immediately back out with a sickly green color on his face. Natasha rolls her eyes at him and goes into the bathroom herself. She grips the back of Peter’s neck and rubs it, coaxing Peter through his heaves until he can stop.

There’s a bloodstain left behind on the outside edge of the toilet when Peter pulls back. His chest is bleeding a lot heavier than before, and his shirt is soaked. Peter barely bites back a whimper at the realization that healing factor wasn’t doing its job at all. The Avengers are definitely going to demand to stitch it up now.

Peter sees Natasha nod at Steve out of the corner of her eye, and Steve nods back, then swoops in to pick up Peter. Steve’s darn lucky Peter doesn’t have anything left in his body to come back up. Peter’s head lolls on Steve’s chest as he’s carried past the other Avengers and laid down on the kitchen counter.

Peter tries to protest at being placed on the counter -this is the _kitchen_ , he’s going to ruin the counter- but his weak rambling protests die as soon as Tony lays a hand on his head and ruffles the hair there.

Peter knows they are talking about him, can hear their voices above his head, but he can’t make out the words. He’s so tired, and Tony’s fingers feel so good on his scalp.

Which is probably why it takes him several moments to realize the chatter’s stopped.

He opens his eyes to see everyone staring at him again. Well, no, not at him. At his chest. He looks down too and sees someone (probably Bruce) must’ve cut open his shirt to get better access his chest wound, displaying his body for the world to see.

 _Oh._ They’re not looking at his chest, they’re ogling at his _stomach_. Or, rather, what was supposed to be a stomach. Over the past couple years it’s become concave, closer resembling fragile skin too-stretched over rib and pelvic bones now than the strong, muscled thing it should be.

Peter flicks his head back up. He makes a small noise, sound more comparable to a kicked dog than a superpowered boy, and moves to cover his abdomen. They were never supposed to see him like this. They were never supposed to know.

The sound is enough to snap Bruce into action.

“Your chest. We have to stitch up your chest,” Bruce mumbles distractedly, more to himself than Peter. He puts down the scissors he must’ve used to cut Peter’s borrowed shirt and starts threading a curved needle. When he finishes, he steps closer, but stops before he can make the first stitch.

He turns to face the others, still frozen in place, and states firmly, “I need space to work. Go wait in the living room.”

“But-!” Tony starts to object, but Bruce simply juts a finger firmly towards the living room and lifts an eyebrow, daring him to object again. Tony huffs, but walks away. The rest of the team follow suit, Sam sending Peter a tight smile before disappearing out the door last. Bruce turns back and focuses his attention to the cuts on his chest, not saying a word. Leaving Peter to wallow in his shame.

The team saw it. He’d failed. He had _one thing_ to keep from them and he’s too incompetent to even manage that. He always tries to make sure to eat enough that he still has enough energy to fight, but it’s a fine line. Sometimes he just can’t get enough- there isn’t enough time in the day or there just isn’t enough food at home. Aunt May does all the grocery shopping and cooking in the house, and he doesn’t have enough money to change anything anyway. Superheroing doesn’t leave a lot of time to get a job.

But he should’ve done something before now. There had been plenty of signs that he wasn’t eating enough recently: the bruises and scrapes he got during patrols were taking days to heal, instead of hours. His body simply didn’t have enough energy to spare on healing. Peter had known he needed a little more than he was getting the past few months, but he’s ignored it, wanting to avoid the panic attacks that always came after the thought that _a civilian could get hurt because he wasn’t strong enough to save them_.

And now he’s going to get kicked off the team. For that very reason. Because he’d known he was a risk they couldn’t afford, and he’d done nothing to fix it.

Peter sucks in a shaky breath at the realization and lays his head back against the counter. Bruce pats his shoulder comfortingly.

“Almost done, Peter,” he soothes, misinterpreting Peter’s actions for pain from the stitches. “Just a couple more stitches.”

His injuries lately have been so extreme, due to the lack of body padding and taking so long to heal, that these cuts are the least of his worries.

His back hurts a little more than his chest, actually. Peter resolves to check it out later when he’s alone-maybe he tweaked a couple muscles or something.

“Done,” Bruce announces as he snips the final string.

Peter slides his legs off the counter and sits up before Bruce can move to stop him. “Awesome! I’ll just go now and get- Oh!” Peter rolls his shoulders and falls silent in marvel at the lack of pain in his sternum. “That’s…much better. Thanks, Bruce,” Peter says sincerely.

In return Bruce holds out an arm to help him off the counter. Peter knows it’s only so he won’t try to escape, but he accepts it gratefully anyway and tries to keep as much weight off Bruce as possible during their short trek to the living room.

“Wait,” Peter breathes when they reach the doorway to the living room. “Wait. Let me grab my shirt?” he dares to ask as he turns back to the counter.

Bruce stares at Peter’s other arm where it’s curled around his too-skinny torso. “It’s ripped, Peter. We had to cut it off to stitch.”

Peter’s face falls noticeably.

“They’ve already seen it,” Bruce reminds Peter, not unkindly.

Peter breathing picks up. He knows they saw it, but he’d just thought that maybe, maybe if he covered it up -threw a metaphorical blanket over the issue and hid- that they’d be willing to forget about it. Or ignore it, for at least a while. Let him fight alongside them, just a little while longer.

But apparently luck just isn’t in the cards for Peter. 

He swallows and nods. “Okay,” he tells Bruce, turning back to the doorway. “Okay.”

The scene they walk into as they cross the threshold of the living room is somehow better and more anxiety inducing than Peter thought it would be. He’d expected yelling. He’d expected to walk into the room and Steve or Tony to be standing on their feet, the rest of the Avengers at their backs, anger etched into every face, and to be immediately reprimanded for his inexcusable behavior.

Instead, the Avengers are seated silently along the couch and footrest (Clint) in a semi-circle, expressions unreadable. Tony whips his head up and lurches to his feet as they approach. The others stand quickly. All eyes are on Peter.

Peter lifts a hand halfway in greeting and mumbles, “Hey.”

Everyone starts yelling at once.

“Man of Spiders, are you well?” Thor bellows.

“Why didn’t you tell us!” Tony demands.

“What the fuck!” Clint chimes in.

“Peter,” Sam says simply, voice laced with what Peter’s sure is disappointment.

“How could you not _tell_ us!” Steve repeats brokenly.

They’re mad at him. This is closer to what Peter was expecting. He hangs his head in shame, letting their words wash over him. He deserves this. He kept something that could potentially affect the entire team from them knowingly.

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispers to the carpet, “I’m so _sorry_.”

Silence follows his apology.

“Damnit,” Tony huffs finally. “Listen, I…shit kid.” Tony ignores the flinch that goes through Peter at the expletive.

“I…I’m sorry,” Peter repeats helplessly. He doesn’t know what they want from him. He doesn’t know how to fix this. Why won’t they just say what they need to say and get it over with? Tell him to go already, so he can leave and nurse his wounds alone.

If they’ll just say it, he’ll go.

Tony seems unable to formulate the words, but Steve steps forward to lay a warm hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Peter, you don’t need to apologize. We’re not…we’re not _mad_ at you, or anything. Not at all,” Steve says.

 Peter gapes at Steve. _What_. What else was there even to _be,_ than angry?

“You-you’re not mad?” Peter sounds each word out as it passes his lips, tongue struggling to form the letters.

“’Course we ain’t, kid.” It’s Clint this time, who answers, sounding like someone’s just slapped him. “The hell would we be mad?”

_Because I let this happen. Because I’m a liability. Because I’m going to let you down._

“Because I’m not strong enough to protect you in the field.” It’s the most competent argument he can present. It’s a statement of fact, non-disputable. Cuts right to the heart of how thoroughly he’s failed them.

“It’s okay,” Peter assures them quietly, “I get it. I wouldn’t want me as a teammate either. It’s okay, I know what you need to do, I get it.”

Natasha’s eyes flash warningly and she asks him, “And what do you think we need to do, Peter?” like it’s a threat. Like if he says the wrong thing she’ll pounce on him. But he knows the answer to this question and _god_ , they’re going to make him spell it out for them, aren’t they? Maybe they just really want him to understand why he’s getting kicked off.

Well, mission a-freaking-ccomplished.

“You need to kick me off the team.”

Thor gasps. Peter hears Natasha curse. Sam’s eyes look like they’re watering a little.

This is…not the reaction he’d been expecting.

Tony looks him straight in the eye, looking much further down than Peter wishes he had too. “We’re not mad, kid, we’re fucking _worried_ about you.”

Peter can do nothing but blink up at Tony. Bruce takes the empty moment to deposit Peter on the couch, instead of continuing to hold Peter upright in the doorway.

“So you’re-wait,” Peter tries not to sound too hopeful as he asks, he doesn’t know what it’ll do to him if this hope is crushed. “So you’re _not_ going to kick me off the team?”

“The hell, Peter?” Clint repeats, pissed. “No.”

Peter is a little ashamed at how firmly he latches onto that. Clint may play pranks on Peter often, even fib a little to preserve the trick occasionally, but he almost never lies to Peter. When Clint assures him of something, it’s usually as good as written in a blood.

A singular, “oh,” is all Peter can manage to choke out through the lump in his throat.

Suddenly it’s like someone cut all their strings. Everyone sags and the tension is sucked from the room. Peter lets the atmosphere wash over him, tilting forwards until he can rest his head on his legs.

Bruce’s frustrated sigh and Tony’s “Oh come _on_ ” lets him know they’ve now seen the bruises marring his back from slamming through a few walls during the fight.

“Peter,” Bruce moans disapprovingly. He moves closer and pokes Peter on an uninjured part of his chest until Peter leans back up, then pushes the left side of his lower back till Peter’s bruises are fully visible to him.

Peter knows it’s a gnarly sight from what he could see in the bathroom mirror, bruised to hell and back as it is from the force he was thrown into the wall with. Patches were already purpling and Peter has no doubt they can all distinguish the areas his suit must have ripped, leaving shallow rug-burn scrapes behind.

Bruce gets started poking and prodding at his back -which, _ow_ \- and Tony sees it as an opportunity to ask the question on all their minds.

“So, Peter,” he says casually, “what the fuck’s up with scarecrow belly there?”

Oh. Okay, alright. Tony wants an explanation, he’s giving Peter a chance to explain himself. Peter can fix this.

“Guys, it’s okay, I promise.” The looks on their faces are pretty much telling him what a load of crud they think that is. “No, really!” Peter tries to assure. “Just let me explain.”

Sam nods his head sharply up at Peter to continue, so Peter does.

“I’m not _not_ eating on purpose, I promise. I know I’m too skinny, alright? I know. And I’m trying to fix it, I promise. There’s just…there’s some obstacles in the way. There’s never enough time to eat, you know? Aunt May’s usually working during dinner so I’m usually patrolling dinners, and I don’t have time in the morning, I gotta pack Aunt May’s lunch, and then she works _all day_ , guys. All day. She doesn’t have time to go out and pick up more food all the time, and she’s not really home long enough to realize it’s gotten bad.

“And when she does go grocery shopping she gets the essentials. She doesn’t know I’m…she doesn’t know what I do. So she buys enough for three meals a day for us, and she takes great care of me at home-she does a great job taking care of a normal teenager,” he stresses, trying to emphasis that none of this is her fault, not at all.

“But you’re _not_ a normal teenager, Peter!” Natasha snaps, interrupting him.

“You’ve got almost as much enhanced as I do,” Steve adds. “You probably need to eat just as much.”

“More,” Bruce says as he leans away from Peter’s back and lets him sit straight again. “He’s enhanced, but he’s also a growing teenage boy.”

Peter, who’s kept his gaze steadily at the wall in front of him during his tirade, chances a glance at Tony, who’s been suspiciously quiet. When he sees him, the guilt on Peter’s heart doubles. Tony’s got his head in his hands, expression unreadable.

Peter’s failed him the most, Peter knows. Tony had taken him in almost as family during the few months he’d known the man. Tony’s the one who fixes his suits, who asks him if his homework’s finished, who checks up on him after missions.

And how has Peter thanked him? By taking his care and throwing it back in his face.

“I…Tony, I’m _sorry._ ”

“So you’re not anorexic, then?” Tony asks suddenly, cutting off future babbling apologies. Peter shakes his head quickly.

“Okay,” Tony says, and Peter can almost _see_ the gears churning in his head. “Okay, so we can fix this.”

Tony stands up and begins pacing. “You’re not purposely not eating?” He clarifies with Peter again.

“No!” Peter almost shouts, startling Bruce next to him. “No,” he repeats more calmly. “There’s just never enough time or money.”

Tony stops pacing and claps, a strained smile plastered on his face. “Great! That’s great!”

“It is?” Clint sounds startled. Peter agrees with him. “How so?”

Tony smiles at them all. This time it looks much sincerer. “Time and money are two things _we_ happen to have in excess.”

Peter knows the second something clicks in the other Avengers: their eyes widen and they smile at him, but he still doesn’t understand.

“Peter,” Thor rumbles at him, forcing Peter to turn to look at him. “How do you suppose I spend my day?”

Peter blinks at him stupidly. _What?_

“I, um, I don’t know?”

“Nothing! I do nothing! I’ve got nothing but spare time!” Thor sounds almost _joyous_ and _shoot where are they going with this?_

Natasha lifts a hand and chimes in, “Neither do I, when I’m not on missions.”

“I’ve got a job,” Sam tells Peter, and yeah, Peter knows he’s a counselor but _what does this have to do with anything?_ “But I make awesome bagged lunches.”

“He does,” Natasha confirms. (Peter tries to delete the mental image that pops up Sam handing bag lunches to each of the Avengers as they walk out the door for the next mission, no matter how adorable it is.)

They’re all looking at him like this is some huge revelation, but Peter isn’t sure how they want him to react. None of this is relevant.

It’s not until Tony grabs his shoulder -carefully- and says to him, “Peter, we can help,” that Peter understands what they’re getting at. They’re offering him a solution.

“I…” Peter is touched, but they can’t do that. He can’t ask to do this to them. “I can’t just eat your food and ask you to make me meals.”

“We’ve got more food than we know what to do with,” Steve assures steadily, leaving no room for argument, “and you’re not asking. We’re offering.”

Peter doesn’t know what to say. Do they realize what they’re getting into? Do they realize how much work he is?

“Speak for yourself! I’m _demanding_. You’re getting paid for Avenger work now too,” Tony interrupts. “And I’m giving you a salary for working with Bruce and I,” he throws in as an afterthought. “Think about it as an internship.”

“ _And,_ ” Clint stresses, giving him such a parenting look that Peter doesn’t dare do anything but listen, “you’re having dinner with us every night your Aunt’s away.”

Peter can do nothing but marvel at them all openmouthed. His eyes are so wide the bruises around them are starting to ache from the action. If anyone asks, he’ll blame the few tears that spill over on that.

But no one questions him. Instead, Tony uses the grip he still has on Peter’s shoulder to pull him gently towards the kitchen.

“Come on. Take-out’s bad by now anyway,” Tony tells him. Peter flinches a little at the reminder, but he’s more than a little ashamed of the way it warms his heart that they didn’t eat without him. “You’re in luck. It’s Clint’s night, he’s the best.”

The chore chart Peter passes that’s plastered on the refrigerator tell him that’s a lie: “THOR’S NIGHT!” listed in all caps over today’s date. Peter shivers. He’s heard horror stories about Thor’s cooking. 

But no one says anything to correct Tony as they all rise and follow the two of them into the kitchen. Tony plops Peter down on a barstool by the kitchen counter and the rest of the Avengers sit at the bar with him or stand at the edges of the kitchen.

Clint pulls out some pots, goes to skillfully balance them on top of each other on the stove, and succeeds for about a second before two of them tip and clatter to the ground. One lands straight on Thor’s foot, causing him to yelp and pull away into Natasha, who twists so that she can slap Clint on the back of his head. Clint turns around and flicks one of the potatoes he’s pulled out at her. Sounds of whining and food being thrown fill the kitchen soon after.

Peter snorts and turns to see Steve smiling at the scene warmly. Sam nudges Peter with a shoulder from his other side.

“We’re here to help, Peter,” he whispers. “Let us help. You don’t have to do this alone.”

And Peter finds himself believing it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you can, review your favorite bits, or any thoughts you had reading this-I'd love to hear from you!


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